Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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