she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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