I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My dick has a subreddit
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
