Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
