Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
