the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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