I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
