There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
