is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Randomize
