So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
