Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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