Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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