I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
