Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
