I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize