Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize