I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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