why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
