At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
