i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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