thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
