You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's Friday. Sex?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
