2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
