The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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