She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
