Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
