Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
