She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Randomize