Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
