OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
