This is not my ceiling
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
