id be glad to
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
