Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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