I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
