D3 body, D1 cock
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
one two three fourrrrnication!
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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