You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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