i think my tv is drunk
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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