my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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