Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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