So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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