Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
