I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
