Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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