Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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