I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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