Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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