Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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