It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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