HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
