watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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