the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
