I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
