ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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