The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
