Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
