Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize