If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
