dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
