My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
