puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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