Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
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