Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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