Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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