im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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