Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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