but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
