I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize