he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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