No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
