He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
